The dream gripped him and he moaned in his sleep. 

He ran his hands up her thighs hesitating on her waist. She moved her hips in slow circles, her arms reaching into the air and her body bending gracefully with each arch. Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes, breathing the air in slowly and reclaiming control. 

He opened his eyes, staring into hers as she playfully rode him, both the edge of a smile and her fingers running over his chest causing him to shiver.  His hands slid seductively over her body, her skin smooth and slick and he lingered on her nipples, running his thumbs over the hard nubs.  Her body glistened with sweat and her eyes sparkled when she whispered his name.

“Jessie,” he whispered, sitting up in his bed three thousand miles away from the bedroom in the dream.  The same dream he had night after night after night for the last five years.    

Tom sat in the dark and listened to the ocean, scrolling down his phone list until her number was highlighted. 

Tom looked at the phone and closed it. 

It had been almost five years since he delivered the divorce papers to her and he went through this routine every night.  He put his head on his knees and the emotions he held at bay for so long came rushing back. 

To hell with it, he opened the phone again, pressing the send button and put the phone to his ear.  When she answered, he closed his eyes and was silent.

* * * *

The shrill ring of her cell phone woke Jessica Whitman from a sound sleep and she glanced at the caller ID before she flipped the phone open. “Tom?”  

“Jessie,” his voice shook and she could tell something wasn’t right.      

“Is everything ok?”  She glanced around her empty bedroom, the covers on the other side of the bed thrown back and Chris was nowhere to be seen. 

“I miss you.”  

“Going crazy without you.” 

Jessica blinked, stunned.  Not a word from him since he delivered the divorce papers, nothing for five years and now this? 

Before she could formulate a response, her two boys bounded into the bedroom followed by Chris saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day Mommy!”    

“Tom, go back to bed. I have to go,” she said into the phone, smiling at her family.

“Wait!” 

Jessica took a deep breath. “Hold on.”  She put the phone on her shoulder and looked down at the covered tray Chris put in her lap and pulled the cover off.  A perfect heart shaped pancake covered with strawberries and whip cream sat on the plate.  “Thank you very much,” she said to CJ, Tommy and Chris.  “Happy Valentine’s Day.”  She kissed each of the boys. “Mommy has a phone call that she needs to finish, ok?”

“Ok,” they both said and ran out of the room. 

Jessica glanced at Chris and put the phone back to her ear.  She put her finger up in the air to let him know she would only be a minute.  “What is it Tom?” 

Chris’s eyebrows rose.

“We finally finished the movie.”  

“I know,” Jessica replied.  The studio had fought the injunction and after close to four years tied up in court, they finally got the ruling they hoped for and began filming last year.

“The premier is in a couple weeks in New York City.” 

“And?” 

She didn’t say anything, debating on how to let him down easy. 

“I’d like you and Chris to be there,” he clarified.  “Please.” 

“Why?” 

“I need you there.”  

“It’s been five years Tom.  Besides, Sharon will be there with you.  You don’t need me.”  The click of his teeth and his sharp inhale traveled over the phone line and she actually felt the rage welling up in him from across the ethernet.  “Tom is everything all right?”  She asked, glancing up at Chris and knitting her brow.     

He laughed at the question and then the distinct sound of a harsh sob filled the line.  “It hasn’t been all right since  . . .,” he trailed off letting silence fill the space.   

“How old are they now?”  He asked, changing the subject.  “Your kids, how old are they?”

“They just turned four last month.” 

“What’d you name them?”  

Jessica hesitated and Chris nodded.  Tell him, both his eyes and his voice in her head prompted.   “Christopher James Ryan, we call him CJ.”  

“And?”

“And Thomas Patrick Ryan,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving Chris’s.

* * * *

The name sunk in and Tom was silent.  He closed his eyes and put his head back on his knees, not asking the question that shot into his head.  He didn’t want to know, not now, especially since he made damn sure he’d never have a child with his bitch of a wife.   He took care of that when Sharon demanded he get her pregnant, telling her he was sterile and then making an appointment the very next day.  Snip, snip and his lie became fact.    

“Please come to the premier.” 

She covered the phone with her hand but he could still hear her muffled explanation to the man she choose to be with over him.  “They finally finished the movie and Tom wants us to go to the premier in New York.”   

Chris let out a surprised laugh.  “Why?”

“Why do you want us there?” She asked and her kids came back in the room, arguing until Chris sent them out. 

He sighed, hearing the boys in the background numbed his heart again and he looked at the dark ocean.  “Because I need you to see the movie.” 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”    

“I need you there,” he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper.  “I need you at the premiere.  Please.”

“Why do you need me there?  Is this a publicity stunt?”

“God, no,” Tom recoiled.  “I need you to see the movie. I need you to,” he whispered, his voice shaking.  “Please.” 

“I’ll see what we can do.” 

“Jess, you don’t understand.  You have to be there.”   

“Tom, I said we’ll see.”  The irritation crept into her voice. 

He took a deep breath.  “We’ll see means no.”  He knew her well enough to know that was her favorite stall tactic.  “Please.”  He needed to see her again, even if it was from a distance, even if she was with him. 

Silence and a sigh. “All right, we’ll be there.” 

“Tell him to put Christopher Aris on the guest list, not Chris Ryan.  I don’t want people finding out where we are,” Chris snapped from the background.

“Tell him I will.”  Tom paused, tossing around the next question, debating on whether to ask or not.  “Did you two ever get married?”   

“No,” Jessica answered.

Tom closed his eyes and lay back on the sand.  He mulled this fact over and tilted his head back, opening his eyes so he could see his house.  He looked back at the stars above him and entertained an evil thought.